a falcon, or a storm, or a great song

THERE IS NO PLEASURE QUITE LIKE MAKING A BOOKS/MUSIC/DVD KILLING AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY

"I’m not going to cry all the time
nor shall I laugh all the time,
I don’t prefer one “strain” to another.
I’d have the immediacy of a bad movie,
not just a sleeper, but also the big,
overproduced first-run kind. I want to be
at least as alive as the vulgar. And if
some aficionado of my mess says “That’s
not like Frank!”, all to the good! I
don’t wear brown and grey suits all the time,
do I? No. I wear workshirts to the opera,
often. I want my feet to be bare,
I want my face to be shaven, and my heart—
you can’t plan on the heart, but
the better part of it, my poetry, is open."

post graduate plans

• sleep
• “apply for jobs”
• by which I mean send out resumes to people who will never actually hire me
• use my graduation money and a small travel fellowship to plan a completely impractical trip to England that is ostensibly to look at wall paintings.  But really I just want to go to the BBC Proms and then head north to lie in some grass.
• watch my brand new ROH Cendrillon DVD and cry about it.  I think the most affecting thing about this production was watching a passionate love story between two lonely and kind of awkward teenagers.  Also, those voices.
• making some money would be nice.  Like, really nice.
• I should probably get in contact with some temp agencies.
• I’m ethically required to watch The Graduate now, aren’t I?
• Gloat to all of those people who told me I would be fine after graduation because I’m “talented” and “smart.”  Who’s laughing now?
• hint: not me.
• drink
• it might be a good idea to stay away from Mahler but I can’t.  Enter profound existential sadness.
• drink more
• I seek rest for my lonely heart.

"

Suddenly, from all the green around you,
something-you don’t know what-has disappeared;
you feel it creeping closer to the window,
in total silence. From the nearby wood

you hear the urgent whistling of a plover,
reminding you of someone’s Saint Jerome:
so much solitude and passion come
from that one voice, whose fierce request the downpour

will grant. The walls, with their ancient portraits, glide
away from us, cautiously, as though
they weren’t supposed to hear what we are saying.

And reflected on the faded tapestries now;
the chill, uncertain sunlight of those long
childhood hours when you were so afraid.

"

AND THAT’S A WRAP ON MY UNDERGRADUATE EDUCATION.

ROSENKAVALIER FROM GENEVA RECORDED FROM APRIL 2012. STARRING ALICE COOTE AS OCTAVIAN.